C'Mere Kitty, Kitty
by City Girl Dreamer
Summary: Because sometimes, Cloud takes that nickname way too far. Cloud/Leon. Yaoi.


**Back to Kingdom Hearts fanfiction for the first time in a very long time. Now, this is my first Cloud/Leon fic and I'm pretty damn proud of it!**

**Other KH stories will be returned to eventually, I hope.  
**

_**Warning:** Fluff...**YAOI**...Angry!Leon...and Cloud...and THE OOC-NESS!  
_

_**Disclaimer:**_ _After extensive searching of each game box, I found no contract declaring I was the owner of Kingdom Hearts...yet..._

**So, due to my extremely long obsession over Cloud/Leon (in that order. Leon is a freaking UKE for Cloud. Seriously), I have finally produced a one-shot based on them! Yay!**

**No smut though. Maybe later. I am planning another multi-chaptered story for Dissidia though. Cloud/Squall again. ^_^**

**ENJOY!  
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C'mere Kitty, Kitty

"Just for one night?"

"No."

"...half a night?"

"No."

"An hour then!"

"Not even for a minute."

"A second perhaps?"

"..."

Cloud huffed and folded his arms, glaring at the brunet in front of him. The blond had been out on a delivery when he had come across a rather interesting shop. His curiosity could not be sated by just glancing at the window and before he knew it, he was inside. His glowing eyes had taken in all the enticing objects the shop had to offer. It would be an understatement to say that most of the munny earned by his delivery was spent at that particular shop.

Whilst on his way home, Cloud had been wondering how to approach Leon with his new bag of...delights. The brunet had always been slightly off with the whole idea of sex and he knew that it would take all of his persuasive powers to get Leon into doing his bidding. The last two times had actually worked out alright in the end. It had only taken a year before Leon actually consented to having sex, and a year and a half before Cloud could get out the handcuffs. However, both times were successful, albeit they did test his powers of patience and restraint.

_Totally _worth it in the end though.

Now, it seemed that his powers of persuasion would have to come back into play. Which didn't seem rather fair. After all, in his opinion, a pair of handcuffs were much more scandalous than slip-on kitty ears. Cloud smirked internally...and what a cute pair of kitty ears they were. It had taken him forever to find a pair that matched Leon's hair colour (not to mention the tail connected onto a butt plug...but let's save that for another time), and he desperately wanted to see them upon Leon's head. His kitten would look undeniably fuckable. Unfortunately for him, Leon just wasn't cooperating.

"You never let me have any fun," Cloud sighed, causing Leon to glance over incredulously. The brunet was at the end of his tether and that last comment just pushed him right over the edge!

"Fun? You believe that having sex five times a day is not fun? You think that restraining me to a bed, whilst you get to eat ice cream off me is not fun? You reckon that forcing me into wearing nothing but an apron so you can fuck me whilst I'm cooking _is not fun_!" Leon demanded, disbelief filling his voice. He shook his head and scowled at the blond.

Cloud, however, hadn't noticed the scowl, his mind having gone back to all of those ultra-fun times he had. Especially the cooking one. That was interesting to say the least. Leon noticed his far-away, glazed over expression and growled. He turned on heel and stalked away, heading off towards Merlin's home. As Leon's sweet scent left the vicinity, Cloud blinked and looked around. Noticing that his lover was no where to be found he huffed and tightened his grip on the ears.

Rolling his eyes at his melodramatic lover, he followed Leon's path towards Merlin's house. He would get Leon to wear these ears! After all, if he had the patience to run after Sephiroth for all these years, then surely he had the patience to get Leon into wearing a pair of kitty ears. Right?

X-x-X-x-X

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Cloud had no patience left at all. Two whole weeks of non-stop pleading and asking and hinting. Cloud had gotten nowhere and he had tried absolutely everything there is to try. He had tried sucking up to Leon:

_"Leon, you're looking beautiful today."_

_"I'm not wearing the ears Cloud."_

He had tried being sweet to Leon:

_"C'mon kitten, you've worked so hard today. Take a day off and I'll do everything for you."_

_"I'm not wearing the ears Cloud."_

He had tried being mean to Leon:

_"Wear the fucking ears Leon!"_

_"I'm not wearing the fucking ears Cloud!"_

He had tried bribing Leon via sex:

_"Fuck kitten...you were wonderful tonight. Kitten. Kitten? Leon?"_

_"ZZzzzzzzz."_

He had tried bribing Leon via presents:

_"Kitten! Look what I've got!"_

_"I get the feeling that the Kama Sutra is more of a present for your own benefits than my own."  
_

He had tried bribing Leon via cooking:

_"Welcome back babe! I've cooked dinner for us!"_

_"...what the hell have you done to my kitchen Strife?"_

Nothing worked. Cloud was desperate. Cloud was becoming needy. Cloud seriously needed to get laid by a kitty-eared Leon. Now, he was at the bottom. He had reach the very low of the very low. He was about to do something he had never done before because it was so wrong and because Leon would most likely murder him for doing such a thing. Cloud was desperate though, and due to his desperation, he approached Leon with this:_  
_

"If you don't wear those ears tonight, I'm going to post up sexy pictures of you all over Radiant Garden," he stated monotonously. He was so at the end of his tether. Never had he actually blackmailed Leon before as he had considered it such a dirty, dishonorable thing to do. Obviously, he was pretty fucking desperate.

"A-Are you blackmailing me into wearing those ears?" Leon asked incredulously, absolutely pissed that Cloud would even consider such a notion. The blond however, didn't seem perturbed by the growing anger radiating off Leon's tense body and merely shrugged off the question.

"Of course not kitten. I'm merely convincing you to put on these ears for one night, otherwise I will use my powers of persuasion to get Yuffie into handing over her 'album', therein providing me with a number of risque photos, most of which are of you alone. Once the pictures are in my possession, they will be then plastered across the walls of Radiant Garden with the headline of: I Belong To Cloud. Back Off."

"...so you're blackmailing me," Leon asked, blinking. Cloud sighed and nodded.

"Yes. Yes I am. I am _that _desperate to go that low and to suffer your wrath, all for the sake of you wearing a headband with ears glued onto it," Cloud replied. Leon blinked again and tilted his head to the side. Cloud must be telling the truth, as the blond had never lowered himself to the level of blackmail before. Also...if it's just for night and no one would see him like that. Plus, he'd much rather suffer from one night of embarrassing sex than the embarrassment he'd have to suffer if anyone saw him like that.

"Fine. One night. Tonight. No. Other. Night!" he hissed, fists clenched and eyes narrowed. Cloud mentally high-fived himself and swooped Leon up into his arms, ignoring his protests and threats. Leon punched him in the chest, demanded that Cloud put him back down, but the blond merely brushed off all insults. Tonight he was getting laid by a kitten-eared, sexy minx! Laughing off all of Leon's threats and curses, Cloud shook his head and began to ascend up the stairs.

"C'mon kitten. It'll be fun!"

X-x-X-x-X

Leon gazed into the mirror, seeing his scowling, moody reflection with a ridiculous pair of kitty ears on his head. Never before had he looked so stupid. He reached up to take them off, only to have Cloud's hand restricting him from moving. Cloud nuzzled into Leon's neck, gazing delightedly at their reflections. Both were naked, with the only exception being the ear perched upon Leon's head. Cloud grinned and nipped at one of Leon's real ears.

"See, it's not so bad. You look gorgeous kitten," Cloud purred into Leon's ear, sending pleasurable shivers to ripple up Leon's spine. The brunet arched back into Cloud's touch, briefly forgetting all about the stupid ears on his head. He turned to kiss Cloud sweetly on the lips, winding his arms around his neck as Cloud pulled him flush against his body. Leon sighed with content as Cloud stroked his hips in circular motions, slowly pulling him towards the bed.

Leon felt Cloud's teeth nip at his bottom lip, sucking it in and licking at it. Moaning, Leon slipped in his own tongue. Cloud automatically began to lay on his dominance, pushing Leon's tongue back into his mouth and massaging it with his own. As Leon sucked lightly on Cloud's tongue, he felt the bed hit the back of his legs. He pulled away slightly, his breath coming out in short, sweet pants, a beautiful flush coating his cheeks. Cloud smiled and kissed his temple, gently pushing him backwards onto the bed. Leon allowed himself to fall, dragging Cloud with him and connecting their lips once more as they landed.

The blond then lifted Leon's wrists up and pinned them over his head with one hand. Poised over the brunet, he nipped at the tip of Leon's nose, causing the younger man to hiss and wrinkle his nose. Cloud gazed down at his beautiful kitten, face flushed, eyes glazed over and kitty ears perched perfectly on his head. The brunet's hair completely covered the headband, giving the allusion that Leon really did have kitty ears.

Swooping down to capture quivering, red lips, Cloud reached over with his free hand and reached for something in the bedside drawer. Leon assumed it was lube and automatically spread his legs, readying himself for lubricated fingers to bring him to the heights of pleasure. However, when the drawer was slammed shut, Leon didn't hear the familiar clip of a lube lid being opened. He didn't feel any cold and lubricated fingers poking at his entrance. One stormy eyes cracked open, followed by the other as he viewed Cloud with suspicion.

The blond had one arm behind his back, blue eyes filled with mischief and mirth. Leon didn't like that look. He did not like that look at all.

"What's behind your back?" Leon narrowed his eyes and glared at the blond. Cloud tilted his head to the side and innocently blinked.

"Nothing."

Shaking his head and sitting up slightly, Leon crossed his arms and glared at Cloud. "What's behind your back? I'm not stupid, so don't treat me as such!"

Cloud gave him a sheepish look and slowly produced from behind his back, a collar. A black, velvet collar. With a bell. A bell in the shape of a cat. Now, Cloud was clearly taking this nickname way too far! Leon hissed at the collar and turned his nose up at it. The blond pouted and crawled up to Leon, licking the side of his face lazily. Leon scowled at the action, wondering just exactly who the kitten was in this relationship.

"C'mon Leon, you already have the ears! Please...for me. Only for me, no one else will ever have to see this," Cloud asked, nudging Leon's ear slightly. The brunet sighed and shook his head, wondering briefly as to what else Cloud had bought at that shop.

Cloud tried hard to break down Leon's strong resolve. The blond placed the collar down and began to kiss him on the cheek sweetly, moving down to the jawline and then further down to nip and the pulsating point on Leon's throat. Playing with his nipples slightly, Cloud began to feel Leon's iron resolve melt into a puddle of moaning submission. Cloud's eyes glowed as he reached for the collar again, slowly bringing it up to Leon's neck.

"Just for tonight. No one else will see this but me. You're mine, so you should trust me on this. Please?" Cloud asked, stroking Leon's chest with the soft, velvet collar. The brunet glanced down as Cloud rubbed the bell against a dusky nipple and sighed.

"Just for tonight?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. Cloud smiled and shrugged.

"Maybe my birthday too," he replied. Leon shook his head and sighed once more. He glanced down at the collar and bit his lip. No one else would see this. It would be just him and Cloud. Besides, you could hardly compare wearing a collar and getting fucked, to wearing an apron and getting fucked_ whilst cooking dinner_!

The brunet nodded his consent, feeling the sweet glow of Cloud's eyes lighting up his features. A small smile stretched his lips, happy to know that only he could produce such a reaction from Cloud. The blond gently placed the collar around Leon's throat and gazed at it lovingly as it snapped into place. It was snug around the brunet's throat, sat just below the pulse point. Cloud kissed his lips sweetly, whispering his thanks against quivering, wet lips. Leon merely hummed and reciprocated the kiss, as Cloud caressed his throat softly.

"Get the lube," Cloud whispered, his words sending shivers of excitement down Leon's body.

Leon broke away from the kiss, itching at the collar already. He shook his head as Cloud purred with pleasure as he pawed at Leon's body and reached into the bedside drawer. His hand grasped nothing but air and he frowned as he felt nothing in there. He pulled away from Cloud slightly and cocked his head to the side.

"Where's the lube?" he asked, knowing that they had just bought a brand new bottle the other day. Cloud shrugged slightly, his eyes glowing fiercely as he lapped at Leon's collar bone, reaching up with his nose to nudge at the little bell at the top. Cloud's lips curled up into a smile as the bell tinkled slightly. The blond pulled away and hummed.

"Downstairs maybe? C'mon, we don't need lube," Cloud stated, running a hand through Leon's hair. The brunet shook him off and scowled.

"I'm not doing this without lube. Again," he firmly said, pushing himself off the bed to grab his leather pants. Cloud sighed and shook his head. He remembered the last time they disregarded lube and used spit as an alternative. Leon had ended up bleeding and Cloud had been forbidden from touching him for two months. Remembering the utter hell those two months had been, Cloud decided that Leon had a full-say in whether or not lube was used.

He watched quietly as Leon pulled his pants up, the brunet sighing and muttering to himself. Cloud found that trait to be utterly adorable and smiled as he listened to Leon talk to himself. The brunet then glanced up with worry shining in his eyes as he regarded Cloud.

"No one is down there, right?" Leon asked warily, zipping his pants up. Cloud felt his mouth go dry as he took in the sight of his shirtless, collared kitten and desperately hoped that Leon's trip would be a quick one. He nodded in answer to Leon's question and pulled the brunet down for another quick kiss.

"Don't worry, no one will see you," he said reassuringly. Leon nodded shortly and turned to leave the bedroom. His hips taunting Cloud with their swaying, teasing movements.

Jogging downstairs, Leon fingered his collar with a sigh. The bell gave a slight tinkle as he touched it. He didn't know how Cloud managed to persuade him into doing such things. First the handcuffs, then the ice-cream, not to mention the apron-cooking-fiasco. Shaking his head, Leon swore that he would get back at Cloud somehow. Aerith had mentioned a cross-dressing incident once or twice...

Smirking as thoughts of revenge settled in, Leon opened the door leading to the main room downstairs. Not bothering to check if anyone was actually home, he sauntered in, a smirk stretching his lips and he stroked the collar. The bell tinkling all the while. However, a loud shriek and the sound of a plate smashing brought him out of his thoughts. Leon froze mid-step and hesitantly glanced up. Aerith was staring at him with wide-eyed shock, a shattered plate at her feet as she took in his appearance. His half-naked, collared appearance. The sound of a camera clicking brought his gaze to a madly cackling Yuffie, declaring how she had another one for the album.

Chancing a fleeting glance at the computer, Leon swallowed as he found Merlin and Cid staring at him as well. Merlin merely shook his head, muttering about how Times and Eras have changed since his days. Cid was transfixed by the velvet collar, his mind flooding with memories of a beautiful, raven-haired gunman with lusty red eyes. Ah, good times.

Leon was mortified and swallowed hard, his face rapidly turning crimson. They all knew about his and Cloud's relationship, but he was ever so private about it. Even the mention of the word 'sex' caused him to clam up. He opened his mouth, but nothing could come out. The words, the apologies, the 'it's-not-what-it-looks-like' excuses all froze in his throat. Slowly, his stormy eyes never blinking, never wavering from the awkward scene before him, he backed out of the room and back up the stairs. Yuffie continued to cackle, whilst Aerith's expression grew more worried by the second. She hated seeing Leon look so embarrassed, but knew that she'd only make it worse if she went after him.

As he stiffly walked back up the stairs, Leon began to imagine all the wonderful ways in which to kill Cloud. Murder Cloud. Cause Cloud so much pain, he'd be begging for death! Castrate Cloud and–well...that wasn't a bad idea. The brunet allowed himself a cruel smile as he entered his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. The irritating bell shrilly ringing with his sharp movements. The blond on the bed looked up sharply, holding up a bottle of lube. His expression was sheepish and he shrugged apologetically.

Cloud had heard Aerith's shriek and instantly knew that he would be in the doghouse. It became even worse when he found the lube underneath Leon's pillow. Cloud knew that it would take a lot more than good sex and grovelling to get onto Leon's good side now. The brunet was gazing at the lube with a murderous expression, his stormy eyes flickering from the bottle to Cloud, to Cloud's...lap?

"Ah, sorry kitten. I honestly didn't know they were down there! Err...ditto with the lube," he said, his eyes glowing softly. Leon's expression softened a little and he nodded slightly. Gifting Cloud with a sweet smile, he unzipped his pants and dropped them as he approached the bed. Allowing Cloud to scoop him up into his arms, Leon nuzzled into the blond's neck, hiding a self-indulgent smile.

Oh, Cloud wasn't forgiven, oh hell no. Sure, Leon would give what he wanted now, he would act his part and simper over Cloud's every touch (which in all honesty, didn't require much acting on his part), and he would allow Cloud to touch him and kiss him and lick him all over. Leon hid his smirk and began to nibble along Cloud's throat, kissing the pulse point and then sucking on it lightly. Cloud gasped and began to lube up his fingers, getting ready to prepare the brunet minx. Leon knew that Cloud figured himself to have been forgiven and he would let Cloud think whatever he wanted for now. When tomorrow comes however–

"Ooh _kitten_..."

–Cloud was a dead man!

X-x-X-x-X

When Cloud woke up, he became aware of two–no, three things. Number one, he was handcuffed to the bed. Number two, the handcuffs were those ultra-special ones that no mako-enhanced superhuman could break out of. A gift from Vincent of course. Number three, Leon was stood opposite him, also naked. He was also casually turning Revolver around in his hands, the sharp blade shining dangerously in the sun.

Cloud swallowed hard. If this was some sort of kinky morning foreplay, then he was all for it. Unfortunately, the look in Leon's eyes suggested anything but foreplay. The brunet pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and approached the bed, his hips swinging in an over-exaggerated fashion and his narrowed eyes never leaving Cloud's face. The kitty ears were no longer perched upon Leon's head, but the collar still remained snug around his slender throat.

"Good morning. You selfish, perverted and utterly exasperating man," Leon said, his voice deadly calm and his eyes betraying nothing. Cloud blinked, his eyes never wavering from Revolver's sharp blade as it swung nearer towards Cloud's panicking dick. Cloud took note of Leon's words and came to a sudden conclusion: Leon was pissed. Big time.

"Morning kitte–"

"Don't call me that! I find utterly infuriating that you have the nerve to call me that, especially after humiliating me like you did last night! Did you seriously believe that I would have let you off like that? Don't be so ridiculous!" Leon hissed, his words sharp and his eyes glinting with fury. The tinkling bell no longer sounding so cute anymore, nor did it distract Cloud from Leon's murderous expression. Cloud held back a flinch and regarded his naked form and the deadly silver blade. Finally coming to the sudden realisation as to what Leon planned to do, Cloud's eyes widened and his mind burst into a flurry of panic.

"Now, now Leon...don't do anything impulsive," Cloud stated in an attempt to calm the brunet down. Suffice to say, it was an attempt well failed. Leon twirled Revolver around lazily, his gaze fixed firmly upon Cloud's increasingly panicking expression. The brunet hummed slightly and climbed onto the bed gracefully, his Gunblade still twirling around.

"Define, impulsive," Leon said, his voice quiet, his tone nonchalant–as if it was completely normal to be swinging a Gunblade near your boyfriend's exposed genitals. Cloud swallowed hard and tried to subtly shift up the bed and away from the sharp blade.

"Slicing your most important person's parts off...I'd say that would be pretty impulsive," Cloud replied, his glowing eyes losing their gleam as his libido firmly declared that the sight of Leon with a large sword was not a turn on. At all. Especially when said large sword was not a euphemism and said large sword was inches from cutting his balls off. Leon tilted his head to the side and pondered on Cloud's words.

"'My most important person?' You seriously don't consider yourself as such, do you?" Leon asked, his tone flat and not reflecting any emotion whatsoever. Cloud however knew that the comment was aimed to hurt and fuck...did it hurt. The sting made itself known in his heart and Cloud tried to convince himself that Leon was merely saying that because he was pissed. Not because it was true. Hopefully.

"O-Of course I do. Anyone else considered more important than me would have to die!" Cloud hissed, his eyes burning once more possessively. The hurt from Leon's blunt comment was washed over by the burning possessive desire in his heart. Leon was his, everyone knew that. Cloud had to be Leon's most important person! He had the ability to make Leon blush and scream and cry and laugh and smile...sometimes all at once too! Who could compare to _that_?

Leon smirked and tilted his head to the side, his stormy eyes gleaming with amusement and his bell tinkling softly. "I don't think Aerith would appreciate being stabbed in the back. Again. Yuffie is far too quick for you to catch. After all, she is a _Great Ninja_. Also, Sora has millions of lives to save from the Darkness and I don't think you'd be very popular with them if you were to kill their saviour. Cid would most likely laugh in your face if you tried to kill him. Merlin would use magic to kick your ass. Ah, not to mention that if you hurt a single resident in Radiant Garden, I will kill you so fast you won't even have time to blink."

Cloud blinked.

"Yeah, but I get to fuck you every day. Ergo, I'm more important," he retorted, looking very pleased with his logic. Leon shook his head, Revolver still swinging around.

"So? Yuffie declared me as the most 'wantable' guy in Radiant Garden...I could get any guy to fuck me," Leon stated, taking in Cloud's increasingly loud growls. The brunet shook his head and gazed down with an almost sneer. "Better yet, I could have any _girl_."

Cloud's eyes froze in their glow, his growls caught in his throat. His whole body seemed to have been placed on pause. Leon swallowed silently, wondering if he had gone too far. Leon had told Cloud all about Rinoa (what a fun conversation _that _had been), and he knew that, from time to time, Cloud would wonder if what was between them was what Leon really wanted. It had taken a whole week of non-stop sex to convince Cloud that _no_, he did not want a girl. _No_, he did not want a family. _No_, for the love of Shiva, _no_, he did not want Cloud to get a sex change!

Leon peered down with concern and bit his lip. He stopped twirling Revolver around and leant towards the eerily still swordsman below him. The brunet was about to apologize for his hurtful comment when a snort caught him off guard. Cloud's glowing eyes were filled with mirth and his lips were twisted up into a smug grin. Leon knew that whatever came out of Cloud's mouth next, he would not appreciate it.

"Yeah, like any of them can keep up with your libido."

Bastard. Leon growled and began to swing Revolver around. First the ears, then the collar and now this. Oh, he may miss the sex from time to time but Cloud so definitely deserved this. The brunet reared up and sat back onto his heels, his stormy eyes narrowed with annoyance. Cloud noticed the change in his kitten and glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. What he saw made him vow to never piss Leon off again.

"H-Hey, c'mon kitten! Babe, Squall...Leon? Please, you seriously don't want to do this! Think of all the sex you'd be missing out on! C'mon Leon!" Cloud cried, sending profuse apologies down to his dick and balls as they tried to crawl up into his stomach. This was so not hot!

"What's the matter? I thought you _liked _a bit of knife-play," Leon purred in his sexy voice. Which was sexy all the time, but in _that _voice...it was like, made of erections! Cloud felt his mind go blank and his dick cry 'yes' when Leon used his sexy voice, but then when the words actually settled into his head, his mind went crazy and his dick cried 'fuck'. Cloud swallowed and eyed Revolver warily.

"Kitten, BDSM is the last thing on your mind right now. Besides, I always initiate knife-play, I always carry the knife and I always use an actual knife! Not a muted version of a gun and a machete!" Cloud stated hotly, his eyes glowing and his mind reeling with panicked thoughts.

Leon chuckled darkly, his eyes going all heavy-lidded and his eyelashes batting slowly and coyly. Cloud mentally told all the blood in his body to leave his lower-regions alone, but they seemed to have gone inconveniently deaf. Leon eyed Cloud's growing erection and licked his lips coquettishly.

"It seems that this is more of a turn on than you're letting on, Cloud," Leon purred again. Damn that sexy voice. Cloud shook his head and glared down at his dick. Selfish fucker, never listened to him! He gazed up once more to see darkened, stormy eyes staring down at him expectantly.

"Trust me kitten, in my mind I've gone to my happy place. Way away from brunets with over-sized kitchen knives, that's for sure!" Cloud retorted, closing his eyes for emphasis and turning his head away. Leon blinked and scowled, tugging on Cloud's hair to get his attention. When the blond continued to ignore him, Leon leaned forward to nip at Cloud's collar bone, tugging and sucking at the skin with a slight pout. The blond sighed slightly and leaned into the touch. Happy with the small amount of attention given to him, Leon nipped his way up to Cloud's ear, nipping at the shell and sucking on the lobe.

"Oohh..._Sephiroth_..."

Leon froze. The name was gasped, filled with breathy want. So _that _is where his happy place is? With his darling _Sephiroth_, huh? His stormy eyes snapped open and he reared backwards with a snarl. Leon was ultimately pissed. Spying Cloud's amused smirk on his face, he took up Revolver once more, his bell tinkling sharply. Cloud instantly lost his smirk and began to panic once more. He had only said it as payback for Leon's earlier comments. Noting how bad that decision was, Cloud made another vow to do whatever he could to make it up to Leon. If he survived this, of course.

"Cloud Strife! You selfish, arrogant, horrible, perverted man!" Leon hissed, dropping Revolver down so that it rested a few centimeters above Cloud's quickly softening dick. The brunet's lips were drawn back into a snarl, all pointed white teeth bared and deadly. Cloud tried to ignore how gorgeous Leon looked at that moment and instead concentrated on how to get out of the situation with his dick intact.

"C'mon Leon...it was a joke! I was kidding! Kidding! Leon? LEON!"

X-x-X-x-X

Aerith was just finished with placing dinner in the oven. She brushed her hands off on her apron and started on washing the dishes. Yuffie was at the table trying to kill her boredom by observing another one of Merlin and Cid's fights. Magic VS Mechanic. Wand VS Spanner. Blah, blah, blah. Yuffie sighed dramatically and peered over her shoulder to watch Aerith. Sensing a pair of eyes watching her, Aerith turned and smiled sweetly at the bored ninja.

"Yuffie, why don't you go and tell Leon and Cloud that dinner is almost ready?" she suggested. Yuffie's eyes lit up, her mind automatically taking her to amusing and perverted places. After seeing Leon in such a state yesterday, Yuffie was simply drooling at the chance to see him in bed with Cloud like that! Aerith shook her head, knowing that Yuffie was hoping to interrupt another one of their 'private' times. Again. Yuffie giggled and stood up dramatically, her chair falling over in the process.

"Aerith, quick! Where's my came–"

"Your camera is by the staircase, as it always is. Now go on," Aerith interrupted her, shaking her head slightly. Yuffie grinned and pumped her fist into the air excitedly. She hopped, skipped and jumped to the staircase, finding her camera hanging off the peg by the door frame. Switching it on, the ninja delightfully flicked through the pictures saved on the camera. There was Leon and Cloud sleeping, Leon and Cloud kissing, Leon and Cloud taking a shower, Leon giving Cloud a blow–

_"SQUALL! NOOOO!"_

–job?

The room's current occupants froze at Cloud's cry. It was incredibly rare to hear any inflection within Cloud's voice, let alone any volume. To hear him practically scream out in horror and desperation...well, let's just said Yuffie was mentally preparing for the Apocalypse to arrive. Said ninja glanced up the stairs warily, stepping back a few feet. Aerith tilted her head to the side, concern flooding her face and mentally wondered if she needed to phone up the hospital...again. Merlin huffed and shook his head, zapping himself out of the house before anything even more _bad _happened. Meanwhile, Cid merely scoffed at their reactions and turned back to the computer, rubbing his nose with a sneer.

"Whatever's fucking happening, the fucker probably deserves it."

* * *

**What Cid said. Whether or not Cloud was castrated is up to you. ^_^**

**Perty please review! ^_^  
**

**Love City Girl**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**


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